Something to Live For
by Team M
Summary: "There was still that little voice in the back of her head that knew the truth and would never let her forget it. This was all her fault." No one thought she would ever go that far... But no one knew the real story. xNiley.
1. Chapter 1

_Selena.  
_**She needs to wake up.** Sure, Selena didn't like her that much, but even she knew that she had to wake up. After all, she was the princess, and to be honest, they were all nothing without her. They all knew they owed her for keeping them in the news this long. For making their paychecks for them for the past four years.

Without her, Nick wouldn't have his rumors that he depended on oh, so much. He couldn't keep his social status without her. The press would lose interest, the fans would finally realize how boring he was, she's the one who kept him where he is for this long. No one ever said it, no one ever thanked her, but they all knew the random video shout-outs weren't for her sake or just because he's her best-friend. It was so that he could keep his dream alive. Selena knew he would give it all up for her, though. The music, the TV show, maybe even herself. He loves her too much to watch her fall. To watch her in a place like this.

Joe wouldn't be known if she didn't compete with him for the best microphone tricks on stage all those years ago on tour. Or if she didn't give him a hug in the middle of a feud. If she didn't give him someone famous to talk about – someone like her – he would still be unknown, insignificant, nothing.

Kein? Well, no one would know him if it weren't for the T-Shirt stunt. Joe and Nick could have survived without her, but Kevin didn't stand a chance. A part of her thinks she never quite forgave him for that, but then she remembers the fact that Miley forgives everyone. It doesn't matter how bad she gets hurt from it. But she needs to wake up so he can give her an apology, a real apology this time. The apology that she's been waiting for, the apology that was long overdue. The apology she deserves.

Then, as for Demi, she became famous out of Miley helping her put the pieces back together in her life. Everyone always told her that Demi was using her, that she didn't have a best-friend and Miley would just be a replacement until Selena came to her senses. Millions of people told her daily how Demi was simply using her and would come back to Selena the second she got what she wanted. That Demi would forgive Selena eventually, and the minute she did the Teen Queen would mean nothing in Disney's Circle of Friends. Even Selena herself told Miley that. She was pretty convincing when she went over there, too. She even went as far to say that Nick didn't love her, and God did that lie take talent.

Yet, even with all that talent, it didn't matter, because Miley didn't believe it. Selena didn't know why she trusted Demi so much, but she was glad she did. As much as she regretted the way it all played out, she was glad that Demi finally found someone to do all of the things she was terrified to try. Selena wasn't a risk taker, and she liked to follow the rules. Miley let loose, and while it hurt to watch her best-friend move on to someone new, she knew that Demi needed that. She needed someone to not care about the paparazzi or gossip sites, someone to finally give her confidence – something she had lost when she was eleven. More importantly, she had found a best-friend that she could be herself with.

Then, there was Nick. For the first time in her life, even Selena saw that he would always love her. They were going on six mounths without talking, but a twenty second phone call was all it took for him to interrupt their date without a second thought. To rush out of the diner and to the hospital was something Selena was almost positive that he would never do if it was the other way around. She didn't know how to Miley did it, but she made him fall and never taught him how to stand back up. She was pretty sure that one text message was all it would take for them to get back together. One little message.

Sitting in the hospital waiting room, holding onto Demi's hand as he wiped away tears – real tears – made it obvious that I wasn't his princess. That I never was. Nick didn't cry, ever, he always had a poker face. But this wasn't about Selena anymore, it was about _her_ now. She might just be the only person he'd give up his games for, the only person he'll ever let all the way in.

And Selena? She needed her to wake up so that she won't lose her. Because yeah, maybe they don't like each other, but she never wanted anything like this to happen. She didn't want her in a coma. She's stop everything – the fighting, the competitions, _everything_ for her to wake up again. **She needs to wake up.**

_Demi.  
_**This was all her fault.** She knew what her best-friend was doing but did nothing to stop it. She should have done something. Sure, she tried to get her to stop, but she wouldn't listen. She shouldn't have gave up, she should have kept trying, she should have spoke louder... She should have told Nick.

When she saw the red cuts covering her arms she should have automatically ran to Nick when she refused to stop. He would have easily convinced her that she had to. He never turned down an opportunity to save her, after all. He couldn't see her with those stupid tears rolling down her face.

Maybe that's the thing that stopped her from saying anything. The way her eyes looked so scared, so lost, Miley was always the strong one. She was always the leader, and the leader wasn't supposed to get lost. That made her terrified. She was afraid to do anything seeing Miley like that, Miley couldn't get lost, she just couldn't, because if she got lost it wouldn't take much time before everyone else was too.

She glanced over to Selena, knowing that even she didn't know which direction she was going anymore. As much as she wanted to say she didn't care, Demi knew here better than that, and if she didn't care, she wouldn't be here. She could still get the camerashes attention. She would go inform the press and act like it was all no big deal if she didn't care, but she wasn't doing this. Instead she was sitting here with everyone else, praying that it would all be okay because she needed her to wake up just as much as everybody else did.

Well, maybe not everyone. There was one person that beat us all when it came to the desperate pleas for her to wake up. She looked beside her, almost crying herself when she saw how torn up everyone was. Seeing him break down, seeing everyone holding hands, having it not matter who like who or the feuds that were going on, all of them wanting one thing. It killed me to know that I could have stopped all this.

Nick closed his eyes and she knew he was trying to escape it all. It didn't matter how often they talked, the point was that they would always be in love, whether Selena liked it or not. Then again, I'm pretty sure she got the hind now. Nick would always love Selena's attention, Selena's comfort, maybe even Selena herself, but none of that would ever matter, because he would always love _her_ more.

"Where's Liam?" he grumbled. I knew everyone heard the question that was directed only to me.

"Australia."

"I thought he lived here, now, dammit!" he hissed, grabbing the arms of the chair until his knuckles turned white. "He's supposed to be here for her."

The doctor's all said she should be waking up soon. They all said that the blood loss caused anemia which triggered the coma, but that she should be up soon. They told them not to get their hopes up with that much blood loss, but I knew that enough happened in the past four years for her to be fine. She couldn't let it all go now.

"She lost a lot of blood," her told us. "If she would have gotten here thirty seconds later I wouldn't be coming out with this news. It'd be quite the opposite. Thirty seconds and she would have been permanently handicapped. You guys got lucky."

Demi held back the fury inside. They got lucky? That was bullshit, because if they had gotten lucky, they wouldn't be here. If they were luck she would have had the chance to say something before they all ended up sitting here.

"Thank you," Tish whispered quietly, letting him leave.

"I knew," she spoke up to Nick. But once again, everyone else hear, their faces all falling at the truth. She couldn't hold it in any longer, though. The guilt was killing her.

"I knew too," he replied, shaking his head a little.

"How?" She looked up at him and out of the corner of her eye she knew everyone else was waiting for this answer too.

He almost let out a smile at first. If he wasn't here for her, sitting in a hospital waiting room, she knew that he would have smiled. "We know each other and I didn't need to talk to her to know something was wrong." He sighed, obviously wishing the same things Demi had been wishing the past few hours. He should have spoken up. "I didn't think she would need me. I figured she had you."

"I-I tried," she quivered. "I just... It was like she didn't even hear me."

"I knew too," Brandi admitted next, not looking up to face her mother's eyes. "I saw her once. She was messing with the blade and I knew exactly what she was doing, I just didn't want to believe it."

"I told her to stop," Trace was next in the circle of confessions, and somehow Demi knew that they had all grown a little closer while they were here together. It was sad that it took up to these circumstances for it to finally happen, though. "But, you know Miley. She doesn't listen to many people."

"We all knew," Tish stated, still composed, still holding herself together. "Maybe we didn't know exactly what was going on and that she was cutting, but we all noticed a change."

"Is she going to be okay?" Noah asked. She was older than she was when they all first moved to Hollywood, and she was more mature than any eleven year old should be, but when it all came down to it, she was still just eleven. She didn't understand it all.

Tish shook her head. She was trying to be strong, but she didn't know the answers either.

"When she wakes up," Nick started slowly, thinking over each word he said carefully, "I think we should take her out of the fame for awhile."

"But she loves it," Selena spoke up, and for the first time everyone agreed with her. Was that really right of them? To take away her fame without consulting her about it... Was that really okay?"

Nick's face looked dead, lifeless. He motioned to the waiting room with his hand, making everyone realize again where they were. As if they could forget. "Obviously not enough."

Her mom looked at him, considering the idea. "You really think it's a good idea to protect her? This is her entire life, Nick."

"She felt trapped the first time. You know her, she always feels obligated to put everyone else first and hold all of her problems in. This was the consequence," he explained. And not a single person in the room spoke up. It all made sense. "I wouldn't give her the chance to get a second shot. Because what if Demi doesn't walk in? Thirty seconds later..."

They all knew the rest of that sentence. Thirty seconds later and she would have been dead. And now that Demi knew that everyone had a pretty good idea what she was doing it helped a little, but it still didn't matter. There was still that little voice in the back of her head that knew the truth and would never let her forget it. **This was all her fault.**

_Nick.  
_**He wanted to know why.** He wanted to know why, and he wanted to know it now. Everyone else said it was because of the fame. He called that excuse bullshit. He wouldn't say it out loud, but this was Miley they were all talking about. She could handle a few camera men. No doubt, they may have been a part of it, but it wasn't all of it. There had to be another reason.

It was hard to say that he thought she should give up her dream, but it was what seemed best. She needed a break from everyone. Whatever caused this, she needed to get away from it. He was already thinking of places. Tennessee? First place they'd look. London? Too cliché, in all the stories. Texas? That one was almost as obvious as Tennessee. How many people had moved there from Hollywood in the past year? Two thirds of the Disney Princess's came from there, after all.

Suddenly he froze, thinking of the perfect spot. It was obvious, but unheard of by now. No one would check there. He bit his lip, approving of the place. New Jersey. Where he came from. He would go back home and bring her with him. Because there were two things definite. One, Miley needed to get out there. Two, he had to go with her. He'd already failed her once by letting everything get far, he couldn't do it again. It might sound self-righteous, but he knew that she needed him.

Demi teared up and Nick had a feeling she was imagining it all again. He didn't even want to picture it, her blood lying on the bathroom floor, walking in to see her dead. He didn't know what he would have done, but Demi seemed to have handled it well. Thirty seconds later or she wouldn't be here. Or if she was she'd be handicapped in some way.

Maybe it was Liam. Maybe he was pushing her too far, maybe he wasn't that perfect boyfriend that he liked to display to the media. But even Nick knew that wasn't true. That rumor would get around to him real fast. He sighed, looking around the waiting room.

He knew that Billy Ray was in Tennessee, but he hoped he got here soon. No one knew how to make a room feel okay as well as her dad did. They were all depressed, and right now, as annoying as her dad's inspirational talks could be sometimes, they all needed one. None of them could hold it together much longer.

Nick became alert as the doctor came back, a wide smile on his face. That could only mean one thing.

"She's awake," he told them all.

Nick's grin became wide as he squeezed Demi's hand, holding her into a hug. She was awake, she would be okay. She'd be fine. After two days of waiting she would be just fine. She'd be great. Everything would turn back to normal.

"Nick, you can go first," her brother told him as her mom stood up to go with him, following the hospital's strict orders of two visitors at a time.

He nodded, going to the room and opening the door. He gulped seeing her. Even in a hospital gown she looked beautiful. His eyes trailed her before catching sight of the bandages. He froze for a second, remembering that waking up was only step one. She still wasn't okay. Not emotionally, at least. She had just attempted suicide.

He thought back to a little over four years ago to the day the met and couldn't believe it. He remembered how he thought she was the happiest girl. She would laugh at everything and would always smile. When they broke up she'd grown up a little, faced reality a little more, but she was still the happiest fifteen year old alive. He wanted to know where she went wrong and how he didn't see it. He wanted to know why she didn't come find him.

"Don't ever do that again, Miles, do you understand me?" her mom stepped forward as Nick stayed by the door. Miley nodded a little, but didn't make eye contact with her mom. She looked down for a few seconds before looking away from her mom. Her eyes flickered to Nick for a split second, and while he hadn't seen her months, that second is all he needed to see to know something was wrong. Something more than Hollywood. Something she was trying to keep in. "I love you too much to lose you."

Miley looked down again, fumbling with her fingers. "I want to talk to Nick."

He looked up surprised, not knowing how to react to her requesting his name. Her mom looked hurt but brushed it off quickly as she forced a tearfilled smile to them both, stepping out of the door.

"Go home," she told him once her mom was gone.

Nick came over, sitting on the edge of her bed, finally having the guts to say what should have been said back in Tybee. "No."

"What?"

"No," he repeated firmly.

Miley crossed her arms, a wave of anger flashing on her features. She laid down, turning away from the world again, shutting everyone out. He wished she could see how much they were all depending on her to wake up, though. She was always the strong one, they needed her. Because life didn't go on without her. Sure, it could, but their smiles would always be a little weaker, the spark in their eye a little dimmer, and a piece of their hearts incomplete. And that wasn't something any of them wanted to live with.

That all changed now that her smile was gone. Then again, now that the spark in her eyes had completely vanished. Now that her heart seemed not only broken, but too far protected to fix.

Nick sighed, looking her over. **He wanted to know why.**

_**so, the whole divorce thing really gave me inspiration for this one. I'm not sure if it's a oneshot or a story yet. what do you think? If it is a story Wake Up Calls would go on a potential Hiatus, or updates would just be slower (if that's possible.). so, basically, oneshot or story? :)**_

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	2. Chapter 2

_**Chapter Two.**_

_Miley.  
_**She didn't care anymore.** Nick's staying with her while she was in the hospital didn't effect her like it used to considering he was too late to fix anything now, and Demi's constant check-ups only annoyed her. They were both so worried, and for what? It wasn't like she'd actually succeeded in killing herself. She was still fucking stuck her. So she blocked them out. She knew it hurt them, but obviously she'd been blocking them out for awhile if none of them saw this coming. She knew that at least one of them had to have seen this coming. And maybe this wasn't fair to them, especially Demi, but what wasn't fair was how her fucking parents were getting a fucking divorce all because of fucking her. She didn't mean to tear them apart.

They all continuously told her that it wasn't her fault. That it wasn't anyone's fault. That they simply... didn't love each other anymore. But Miley knew that all of that was bullshit. It was her fault, because if it wasn't they'd be at least fighting for custody. That one time she heard the words spoken in rage was all she needed to hear to know that it was her fault. She didn't mean to, but she had. She had torn her parents apart, and nothing anyone said could convince her otherwise. She'd only tear her entire family apart next.

Her little brother was taking it pretty hard, but Noah was taking it the hardest. When she found out she didn't understand. That first night of knowing that their parents would probably never be sleeping in the same house again she spent hours crying in Miley's arms until she fell asleep. And all the older girl could think of was that it was all her fault that she was like this. She should have known this would happen. She should have seen a sign. She should have put her family first.

She was beginning to think that that's what she was best at, tearing people apart, ruining good things. She tore apart her and Nick, she tore apart Selena and Nick, she even managed to tear about Demi and Selena, and now? She'd torn apart her parents. She didn't mean for it to all get this far. She wouldn't have become famous if she knew that she'd have to give up this much.

That's why she was really there on that bed. Not because of the haters, or the feuds, or the fame, but because she was a screw up. Everything she touched she ruined. She ruined her and Nick, she ruined her and Mandy, she ruined her reputation, and now, as if all of that wasn't good enough, she was going to ruin her family.

They were releasing her today, but her mom already explained how she wouldn't be back home for long. Maybe two days max. And to be honest, that was absolutely fine with that. The last place that she wanted to be was the house that had the mocking title of _home_. That house was not her home anymore. They'd decided to let her go with only Nick to New Jersey. She wanted to criticize that decision, the town, the person she was going with, but she kept her mouth shut, still refusing to talk. She didn't want to hear what they all had to say. She didn't want them to think that she wasn't okay.

Liam arrived yesterday. Him and Nick had never been in the same room, and Miley didn't like the feeling she got when they were standing so close to each other. A part of her felt guilty, the other part felt the need to piss Nick off and make out with her boyfriend, and the other part wanted to kick them both out. No, rephrase that, the majority of her wanted to kick them both out.

Miley told him about the news of her living with Nick for awhile, and needless to say, he didn't react well. He didn't make a scene because he wasn't that type of person, but he definitely wasn't too thrilled about it either. Actually, the first words out of his mouth was the bright idea that she could move to Austalia with him instead. That'd be even farther, after all. Or that he'd move in with Nick and her.

Her mom said that the suggestion was nice, but it wasn't necessary. It was sugarcoating the truth but she shouldn't have bothered, because all three of them knew what the real meaning behind those words were. She'd rather her go with Nick. She trusted Nick more, and despite how good Liam has treated her, she knew that he didn't have a clue how to handle a situation like this. There was so much a past there, that her mom knew it wasn't Liam who should be going. Or, maybe that was Miley's thoughts. Regardless, Liam hadn't said much since that conversation.

"I just scheduled your flight. You're gonna leave the day after tomorrow, jet leaves at ten."

Miley didn't say anything, continuing to stare ahead in her own world, pretending not to hear the words her mom just said. She still hadn't spoken a word. Too much was done now, she was over the news of where she was going or with who. As long as it was away from here, she didn't care. Not even if it was with Nick and even it would be awkward, it was finally true. She was finally numb. **She didn't care anymore.**

_Nick.  
_**She was scaring him.** At first, he thought it was just the shock of what she'd done that she had to get over, but as time went on, as the days passed, he was beginning to think this wasn't shock. He was beginning to think that she wasn't going back to the way she was before all of this. He was beginning to think that she was done pretending.

And that broke his heart.

Miley wasn't a drama queen. Yeah, she liked sending out subtle messages and testing her limits, but for the most part, Miley was the one person he knew who could wear that smile through everything. She didn't talk about her problems, she didn't even show them, but when those blue eyes sunk a little it was in those seconds that Nick knew something was bugging her.

Well, right now her entire face sunk and Nick had never been more scared in his life. Ever since he met her, all he wanted was for her to show her feelings and put that brave face away when she was with him, but now that she finally did just that, he wanted the brave face again. This version of her was terrifying and he was scared to think he'd need to live with her for the next few months. For the first time, he wasn't so sure that he could fix her.

_If anyone knows what to do, it's you_.

That's what they all kept saying. All of them, repeating the exact same words and every single time he wanted to scream back that that wasn't true. He hardly knew her anymore. She was quiet and distant and just so _angry_ with the world that even he could barely recognize her. And he used to be in love with her.

"Ready?" his mom asked, popping into his room. They'd decided that she could go with the two of them. It was unnecessary, but if anything happened again, someone would need to be there. If she went that extra millimeter too deep with the blade that was being kept out of her reach again Nick knew that he wouldn't be able to do it.

He grabbed his suitcases, nodding a little towards his mom.

"How was she when you left a few days ago?" his mom asked.

Nick shook his head, looking down, ignoring whatever seemed to be blurring his vision, making the house unclear. "She was terrible."

"That bad?"

Bad was an understatement. "_Terrible_," he emphasized, walking out of the room and downstairs to where Tish was outside waiting for the two of them. She'd be dropping them all off at the airport.

"Hey, Miley," Nick greeted as happily as he could considering the conditions. She looked at him briefly before turning, looking back out the window.

Nick looked to her mom who appeared just as scared as he felt and knew that what he was hoping didn't happen. She was shutting down, blocking everyone out, almost the same way she did in 2008. But even 2008 was better than this, at least she talked then. She hadn't said a single word since she'd woken up, but if she really thought that would work she was sadly mistaken. He didn't plan on leaving her. Not this time, he'd already made the mistake once. He'd talk to her until she got so annoyed that she had to talk.

She was wearing a sweatshirt in weather that was far too hot to even attempt to pull off that look. He wanted to go swimming, not sledding. It wasn't chilly at all, but he knew why she was wearing it. She was hiding her mistakes, and out of everything that changed, a part of him was relieved to see that one thing hadn't.

He looked ahead of him, not knowing what to expect in the next few months, but knowing that he shouldn't get his hopes up. Because this wasn't the same girl that he fell in love with and knew like the back of his hand. This girl was different. She was hiding something behind that numb act. She wasn't happy anymore. She was broken.

In 2006, she had such a spark in her eye that he thought one day she'd outshine the sun. She was finally big, finally living her dream, and now it seemed like she'd hand the dream over in a second. Somewhere along the way, the way she glowed every time onstage and seemed to have never-ending confidence all slowly disappeared. She wasn't that girl anymore. Her eyes were almost lifeless, he could hardly recognize this girl that was sitting across from him. The girl who was his best-friend, his first love.

He knew she'd been acting different to the media, but he always considered it standing up for herself. Now he saw that he was all wrong. She didn't stand up to them, but she stood up to life and gave it a hostile front. And now that she changed, now that he didn't know her, she was doing something he never thought she would be able to do. **She was scaring him.**

**_hm. i know this is short, but its sorta setting up for next chapter where the plot begins. hope you enjoyed it :) _**

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	3. Chapter 3

_**Chapter Three.**_

_Demi.  
_**She was beginning to think she'd lost her. **Selena and her hadn't talked in what? Eleven months? Almost twelve, she supposed. Demi knew that they'd had fights, and she knew that they could overcome anything, but that was an awful long fight to get over. She hated to say it, but for the first time in her life she was doubting that their friendship would pull through. The past year... It just wasn't anything they had experienced before.

Her pride said to let Selena go, not to chase her, that Selena should be the one apologizing – and she _should_ be the one apologizing. Her experience told her that it was pointless to even try to fix something so broken because she would just get hurt. But her heart? Her damned heart told her to turn to the only person who'd always helped her feel better before, and the only person who she had a feeling always would. And right now, with Miley gone and on the verge of trying again, she had to talk to that person.

So there she was, her fingers dialing the memorized number that she'd sworn to herself she'd forgotten by now. She held her breath as it rang before hearing the one person who would somehow convince her it'd all be okay when it probably wouldn't.

"Hello?" Selena asked. And at that moment, she was considering hanging up.

The way Selena answered... Demi knew that she knew exactly who it was, but what was she thinking? They didn't know each other anymore. They were two strangers who could barely make eye contact.

"Dems, I know it's you," she spoke softly, and a part of Demi relaxed, leaning farther into her pillows. "You alright?"

"Yeah, I'm fine," she told her. But they both knew that it was a lie, because if she was really fine, she wouldn't be calling. "I-I just needed someone to talk to."

"Don't lie to me, D," Selena sighed. "What's wrong?"

And right then, hearing that nickname and Selena call her out again for acting strong... It was like two years ago before all the drama when they were finally realizing that maybe it was possible to reach their dreams. When they were becoming famous. Right then it seemed like she'd had her best-friend the entire time and she couldn't even stop herself from spilling exactly what's been on her mind.

"Miley's not gonna be okay, Sel," she whispered.

A few months ago if anyone told Demi that she'd be confiding to Selena about Miley she would have laughed, but right now it couldn't have felt more natural. It didn't feel like they were talking about the girl who stole Nick's heart, or the girl who hated Selena. It felt like they were talking about Demi's best-friend that needed help, and that was the most there was to the story.

"Yeah, she will," Selena promised.

Selena knew she was crying. As good as she was at hiding it and anyone else would never be able to tell, Selena always knew. "How do you know?"

"Demi, are you kidding me?" Selena tried to lighten the mood, and as much as she didn't want to, Demi automatically felt the corners of her lips tilting up. "It's Miley fucking Cyrus," Selena continued. "She bitch slaps every problem that comes her way."

"She's been mute ever since they released her," Demi went on, not knowing why this all had to happen to people like them. "She won't talk, won't communicate in any way."

"_Miley_ won't talk?" Selena clarified.

"I've never been so worried about anyone in my life."

Demi took a step back, thinking about the situation. Miley was her best-friend now, and she knew that. Miley was the only person who honestly understood her every second of every day, but now, for the second time in her life, she was pretty sure she'd lost her best-friend. So what did she do? She turned to the old one for advice.

"You gotta believe she'll be okay," Selena whispered. "Besides, Nick's there. If anyone can get through to her it's him. They've been in love for how long?"

She'd finally realized it. Ever since they shot Camp Rock Demi only wondered when she'd realize that Nick would never love her as much as he loved _Miley_. Nothing she could do would change that either, because it didn't matter how many of those caramel highlights she got, or how many albums she released while she was an actress, too. She wasn't Miley.

"I thought it would hurt when I realized that he didn't love me," Selena spoke up. Demi was surprised that she still trusted her not to tell anyone what she said about Nick, but she was happy she did. It was one more sign that maybe things could go back to normal sometime soon.

"But you always knew," Demi finished her sentence for her, just like she would have done a year ago.

"Yeah," she sighed. "I was just too scared to admit it."

"So you two are over?"

"We've been over for awhile... It just took us both this long to admit it."

Instead of saying anything she sat there in silence, listening to her breathing on the other end. It felt nice to be able to do all of this again without anything turning awkward.

"What happened in Tybee?" Selena suddenly asked, instantaneously snapping Demi out of her trance.

She sighed, remembering vividly just how long she was on the phone with Miley that night. The way Miley was dreading going to Dallas a few days later for that concert. Oh, God, did a lot happen in Tybee.

"I don't-"

"Please, Demi." And that's all it took for Demi to know she had to give in. Out of the eleven years she'd known Selena, she had never heard her sound quite so desperate to know. "It's been killing me. They just... They stopped everything after that."

"You can't tell anyone if I tell you, okay?" Demi made her promise before starting the story.

He'd came to visit her because of that letter. That stupid ten page letter she'd written an entire year and a half ago that said it didn't matter how long it took him to realize that they were meant to be, she'd always be waiting if he just appeared on her doorstep. So, he did. He was standing at her door when she came home from set and all he had to do was shrug and hold up the letter a little for an explanation. That's all it took for them to fall right back into where they left off.

The next few days while they were together were perfect. They kissed and went jet skiing and it was like they'd never been apart. They were the same couple they were all those years ago before Camp Rock came along. Demi wished she could have been there to see the smile on Miley's face, because it was hard to put one there nowadays, and even now, Miley would tell her in a heartbeat that it was the happiest moment in her life.

After all that pain, after everything in 2008, he'd finally came back. And they were so strong. They were like a Disney movie. For the first time she felt like everything was like it was supposed to be.

Demi heard Selena sniff on the other end of the line and knew she'd made a mistake. "I'm sorry."

"No," Selena protested. "Go on. I need to know."

Demi nodded, taking a deep breath and continuing, getting to the twist. The heartbreaking twist.

"But he didn't tell her that he hadn't broken up with you yet," she went on.

He forgot to mention that the past few days he hadn't been single, but cheating. That it'd been an impulse plane trip over and it'd need to stay a secret. And that was all it took for Miley to lose it and finally be pushed over the edge. He'd ruined any chance he had, and walking out that door to get back to the tour bus, she told him that it was over. Officially. No more games. She promised him that this time she'd move on, and that he could be happy with the girl who supposedly had always came in second.

"They ended it that night," Demi finished. "And she made him promise to finally leave her alone, because for the first time it was what she wanted."

"So what changed now?"

Demi shook her head, not really understanding them herself. "They're just..."

"_Niley_," Selena finished, letting out a defeated sigh. And at that moment, Demi knew that everything had changed. And for a split second, she saw 2007 flash before her eyes. She saw everyone happy again, and everyone like they should be. Everything was the same, and she felt a sting seeing the vision.

Because Miley wasn't there anymore. She wasn't on the other line, she wouldn't pick up. Demi knew that she had failed her as a friend and couldn't help but fall back into her old habits. Because a real best friend wouldn't let a problem get this far. And now that she had, a part of her felt like Miley blamed her too. There were no more phonecalls, no more texts, not even an emotion being shown. **She was beginning to think she'd ****lost her.**

_Nick.  
_**She was only getting worse.** It was hard to believe possible, but slowly, it was happening. She'd locked the door and was barely eating anything. She'd take in some plates, but rarely. He'd never been closer to breaking a door down in his life. At the moment he felt like she really didn't deserve one. I mean, who knew, she could be killing herself in there again for all he knew.

His mom must have gotten that too, because after awhile she removed the lock. Nick wanted to believe that this made it almost impossible to hide anything, but he found that hard to believe. The only perk was she'd started talking. Her first words? Fuck Off.

Her voice was always laced with attitude but that was better than her being mute. Nick continuously would try to make conversation and somehow she'd continuously have the witty comebacks filled with hatred that she always used during their fights.

Still, even with that amount of progress it still wasn't enough. The box in his hand was proof of that, the _Marlboro _label scribbled across it. She was a fucking teen queen, she couldn't even get the better stuff? He sighed, fumbling with it, spinning it around. He wanted to say that she came to him, but he couldn't. In fact, it was the opposite. She had them pretty well hidden, but he knew just where to look. He knew that if she was doing anything reckless she'd hide the evidence someone no one would know to look. No one except him, anyways.

"What the hell is this?" he hissed to her.

She watched him blankly, only seeing his face contort with anger as she stared at him amused. Almost as if it were a game. "A cigarette."

"And what is this cigarette for?"

She scoffed as if it was the stupidest question in the world. And Nick wasn't sure what he was expecting her say, he knew she wasn't 'holding it for a friend', but it was still hard to think of her with it in between her lips, silently killing her even more.

"You put it in your mouth and smoke it." She took the package from him, grabbing one and taking a light blue lighter out of her pocket. "Here, I'll show you."

She put it up to her mouth, getting ready to light it right before he pulled the white stick out of her hand. Nick Jonas ruins the fun again. Shocker.

"Do your parents know about this?"

Miley rose an eyebrow. "You really think they'd care?"

He shook his head at her again, knowing he made her feel guilty for doing it, but obviously not guilty enough. But then again, she'd already had to stop cutting, now she had to stop this now, too? He felt like he was taking away all of her ways out, but he couldn't help it. She was hurting herself, and he couldn't act like that was okay. Not after last time, now that he knew how far she'd go. .

"Miley," he hissed, grabbing the cigarettes back from her and putting them all in his pocket. And for the first time, he decided to say exactly what was on his mind, because at the moment, she couldn't get an edited version that sounded nicer. It obviously wasn't getting through to her. "You're being stupid."

"Thanks for the opinion, now fuck off," she turned back around. A part of him missed the girl from last week who simply showed no emotion and refused to talk.

He pushed that thought aside, grabbing her shoulder and staring at her. Suddenly Miley seemed unable to handle the eye contact.

"You need to _stop_." His voice was too firm. It almost scared him. When had he became her parental figure, too? He didn't care, as long as she would just start trying, which so far, was a fail.

He fingered the cigarettes in his pocket, letting out a deep breath and shaking his head. He'd let this one go, he wouldn't involve his mom, but he prayed that this was the farthest she got in the downfall of teen queens. He refused to let her be just another one who lost control. She wasn't that person.

But she was smoking. How can he say that she wasn't one to lose control when he hardly knew her anymore? He still knew one thing, though. The cigarettes definitely proved one thing right to him. **She was only getting worse.**

_Miley.  
_**She barely knew herself anymore. **So, whatever gave him this idea that he knew her after all these years was stupid, because he didn't. Just because he knew her all those years ago he thought he knew fucking everything about her, but he didn't. She didn't change for the cameras, she changed for good. And he didn't know her anymore, he knew the old version of her. The version before everything happened.

It was killing her to be around him this much. Every time she closed her eyes she was taken back to Tybee, the summer full of regrets that she could never take back. No matter how much she wanted to. She... God, she ruined everything that summer. Every good thing that ever happened to her she began to ruin. That's why she ruined her image. A part of her wanted Nick to come save her. To tell her that she was being stupid and it was time to cut the act.

She looked at her cell phone, missed calls, texts, emails. She hadn't replied to any of them yet, and she didn't plan to. She found herself pressing the dial key anyways, though, listening for a voice on the other end.

"Hey, Babe."

Instantly she felt herself relax at his voice. She knew it didn't matter if she did relax because she had to end things anyways, but for a second she felt at peace in New Jersey. If only she didn't picture him as a mistake whenever she was within a mile of Nick.

"Hey, Liam."

"You okay?"

"I-I guess," she stuttered, not really knowing for sure anymore. She kinda thought it was a stupid question to ask. Who was okay nowadays in the first place?

"Good," he sighed. "You really worried me-"

"I can't do this," she quietly spoke her words. "We-I'm breaking up with you."

It was silent for a few seconds before he replied and she knew that he was trying to figure out what to think of that. "Is it Nick?"

"No," she told him, for the first time able to answer that question honestly in a breakup.

"Then why?"

"Because I have some things going on," she spat, hanging up.

She knew that it was bitchy of her, but she'd had that reputation the past few months before she did that, might as well make it true. Besides, it isn't like her life could get any worse. She covered her parents getting divorced, losing her first love, losing her best-friend, and trying to commit suicide, what was next?

She hesitated, wanting to call someone for the first time since she was released from the hospital. She really needed to talk to Demi in a time like this, but she didn't want to break down. She'd done enough of that lately and she was starting to wonder when she became the weak little rich girl.

She wanted to call, but she didn't. She wanted to be famous, but she didn't. She wanted to be strong, but she didn't. When did she become so damn complicated? It was like she was trying to be two people. It was too hard to call, too hard to be famous, too hard to be strong every single day. Now she knew that first hand, so why the hell did she still want it so desperately?

She put her phone down, plugging the iPod in. She needed to escape from the world for five seconds. She glanced over at the guitar Nick had conveniently decided to place in her room and shook her head. She wasn't going to play it. She'd already decided months ago to give music up. It was pointless, it was getting her no where, she couldn't sing.

She thought back to a year ago when she was standing on stage in the middle of a tour and wondered how she did it. How she had all that confidence and was able to fake that smile so well. But she knew how easy it was to fake the smile. That's why she gave that up when she realized the suicide didn't go through, because fake smiles only scared other people. Fake smiles even scared her, because after awhile she didn't recognize them. She didn't recognize herself even when she looked in the mirror now. She looked so incredibly different than the person she promised herself she'd always be. The person that changed. **She barely knew herself anymore.**

**_haha, well, im off to school! ewwie. hah. but, what'd you think? (:_**

**_twitter/xwalkingonstars_**


	4. Chapter 4

**_Chapter Four._**

_Demi._  
**She'd gone back right back to the place she swore she'd never go again. **She didn't mean to, but not eating at a time like this never came so easily. It was like when life became too much she turned to Miley. When she couldn't turn to Miley she turned to the alternative. It was wrong, but she had to get control somehow.

A part of her wondered if Joe was really over her. He sat there with his damned girlfriend and just happened to show up wherever she went. Go shopping? He's there. Turn on the TV? They're there. Go to set? He decided to visit...with her. All she wanted to do was get away. She understood that they'd broken up, but did it really mean that he had to flaunt her? She got the point, now. She was better than Demi ever could be. She'd had enough, she surrendered, he won. She just wanted him to stop showing up everywhere. It was too hard to put their friendship back together with her there too.

She stuck that finger down her throat again, knowing that she was going down the path it took years to recover from. Tears came, and for the first time since she started doing it four years ago she didn't feel better. Panic came in seconds. This had to make her feel better, it was all she had left, it was the only way out she had. But it didn't.

She grabbed her phone, instantly dialing Miley's number, crying, finally breaking down, finally letting everything that had been happening the past six months get to her. She'd been trying to put up walls against her problems and pretend that they weren't there, but she clearly saw now that they were. These past few weeks, with Miley, with Joe... She put the phone up to her ear, letting this be her last hope at sanity. When she heard that same voice mail stating how it was Miley and to leave a message she sighed, hanging up again.

She sat there against the wall, crying until she had to puke again, wishing she could tell herself that it was all gonna be okay like she'd been doing. And now without tour, without Nick there to tell her over and over again how she'd be okay and that she was special, she didn't know what to do. Nick had been that little voice in the back of her head the past few months that kept her sane, but now his job was gone for Miley. Again. Always pushed aside for Miley.

She rolled her eyes, this time making herself throw up just for the heck of it. A part of her wanted to curse Miley, the other part wanted to praise her. All of her didn't understand.

"Demi?"

Her head shot up as she looked over to the door, jumping, not realizing how easy it would have been for anyone to walk in.

"Shorty, hey," she stood up, going over to give her a hug.

She pushed her back and Demi closed her eyes, knowing that she'd been caught. "It's not what it looks like."

"You just shoved two hands down your throat, I think it's exactly what it looks like," she looked down, avoiding eye contact. "Does Joe know?"

Demi shook her head softly and it took a split second for her backup dancer to turn around. She ran forward, grabbing her arm, looking at her. "Please don't tell him."

"I'm telling all of them, Demi!"

"You can't, they won't understand," she plead and as much as Shorty wanted to say that it was okay and she wouldn't she couldn't.

"I need to."

"Don't, Alex. I swear, I've had this in control," she begged.

"Look, I don't know what's going on between you and Ashley and Joe-"

"Good, because it isn't your business," she spat. "And neither is what you just saw. So, just keep it on the DL, okay? Please."

"No, because obviously this little love triangle is hurting you, and so is the fact that Joe screwed you over-"

She didn't know why she did it. Shorty didn't say anything bad yet, she didn't hit her, if anything she was only trying to help her, yet all of the sudden it was like every hate comment, every time she saw Ashley and Joe together, every time Miley ignored her calls came out and she couldn't take it. Instinctively her hand came down to the other girl's face, punching it.

The second she did it she gasped, covering her mouth with her hands, shaking her head, crying more, harder. "I'm so sorry, oh, my God, Lex, I swear I didn't mean it. Oh, my, God."

"Demi, c'mon – What happened, shorty?" Joe cut off, staring at their back-up dancer as Demi looked down, knowing that she would have to tell him. She'd need to tell him everything. "You alright?"

"Yeah, fine," she lied, meeting eyes as Demi felt relieved before shaking her head.

"You sure, you have a-"

"I punched her," Demi confessed, looking down.

Joe walked over and grabbed her chin making her look him in the eye and she saw Ashley by the door and rolled her eyes. Of course she couldn't stay downstairs for two minutes. "You did what?"

"I know, I-I lost it."

"Why?" He demanded. Demi pulled away from him, walking out and pushing past Ashley as Joe chased her down the stairs, both of them meeting his dad at the bottom who was waiting to listen to the new songs Demi had recorded. The songs she thought were good enough to be on a CD after all this time.

"She punched Shorty," Joe spilled at once. His dad laid his papers on the counter, his eyes widening a little.

"Demi?"

"I-I'm sorry."

She prayed that this would be enough to get Joe away from Ashley for two damn seconds and realize that he was killing her. For them both to stop getting shoved down her throat every five seconds.

He looked up, seeing the girl who'd apparently just been hit at the top of the stairs and waved her down. "Shorty, let's see."

In that second Demi wished that she wouldn't have done it. The way that it was Shorty who looked like she felt bad and not her. It wasn't her fault. Shorty was just in there, pissing her off, in the wrong place, saying the wrong things. This was Demi's fault, she shouldn't have let it get that far. IT was nothing to punch her for.

"Jesus, Dem, how bad did you hit her?"

"I'm so sorry, I didn't-"

"But you did," Joe spat, crossing his arms.

"What happened?"

"I-I don't want to say, not with everyone here."

Mr. Jonas nodded. "You can just tell Joe."

Demi shook her head, tears coming to her eyes as she realized how much it all changed. "I definitely don't want to tell him."

"How about me and you go explain it all to him, Dems?" Alex suggested, walking over to her, black-eye and all.

She nodded, hugging her and shaking her head. "I am so sorry."

"It's fine, I get it," she promised. But Demi knew for a fact that it wasn't okay. She wished she knew when she became this person, someone who took all their anger out on one of their closest friends. Granted, they weren't best-friends, but they were close.

"Let's go outside and talk," he decided, leading them out as Demi glanced back at Joe. For the first time he looked like the hurt one, and she couldn't help but be happy for that.

"Mr. Jonas, I swear, I'm fine, it's really not-"

"Alex, I appreciate that, but-"

"I hit her because she threatened to tell Joe some things that I wouldn't have been able to handle anyone else knowing," Demi interfered, just wanting to get this over with. "She walked in on something and I wanted to hide it. It was all my fault."

Mr. Jonas sighed, walking over to Demi, that softness in his eyes he wore when he was talking to clients that he genuinely cared about. It made her feel just a little better knowing that he didn't hate her. "Do you want a break, Dem?"

"I don't want a break."

"But do you need one?" he clarified.

Demi looked down, not really knowing the answer herself.

"I need help," she found herself admitting. She didn't think she'd ever say those three words so outright, but it was the words that she'd been screaming inside since she was thirteen. She supposed they only too so much screaming before they came out.

"What's going on, Sweetie?"

"I messed up," she let more tears fall as she immediately tried to wipe them away.

"What did you walk in on, Alex?"

She looked to Demi who just gave a little nod in approval before she turned back to the older man, trying to find the right way to say the words. "She was making herself throw up."

He let out a deep breath, knowing exactly what this meant. He'd heard of Demi's past before, but he didn't think he'd ever need to deal with the problems she'd had. She was so strong that it was hard to see through her when she was breaking down.

"Are you doing it again, Demi?"

She bit her lip, nodding, trying to figure out what she was going to do.

"I'm so scared," she spoke out softly, beginning to sob a little. "I never meant to hurt anyone. I-It wasn't supposed to get this far."

**She'd gone right back to the place she swore she'd never go again.**

_Nick._  
**She wasn't opening up at all.** She still wasn't telling anyone what had pushed her over the edge. She was scared to death inside and everyone knew it, but she was still hiding behind the walls she was sure that he couldn't break down. He'd beg to differ.

Nonetheless, his mom was still making him tell her the news about Demi despite how many times he tried to convince her otherwise. This wasn't a good idea. She couldn't deal with all of this right now. It was just too much, she'd already tried to kill herself, now they were going to tell her that her best-friend wasn't okay, too? Well that just sounded brilliant.

He dreaded this, pounding his hand on her door.

He heard shuffling before the lock clicked and she slightly opened the door. The second she saw it was him she rolled her eyes. "Isn't it a little early for your nightly check up? I'm still alive. Haven't killed myself yet."

"You aren't funny," he crossed his arms, holding in the urge to beg her to stop joking about it. He didn't think this was a funny matter. "And, I actually need to talk to you about something."

"You're gonna talk about something? Well, that's a first, isn't it?" She opened the door a little, letting him slip in.

"And to think I didn't like it when she was quiet," he muttered to himself.

She walked to her bed, opening a drawer and grabbing a box a cigarettes. He couldn't help but wonder where she got all these when she hadn't stepped out of the house once since she got here. IT didn't really matter though, and he glared as she took one out.

"Want one?"

He let out a sarcastic smile and snatched it from her. "I'll take the whole pack, thanks."

She shook her head, a real smile playing on her face, a secretive one. She found this all quite funny. He was glad there was still one joke she'd always laugh at. Him.

She lit it, letting out a clear puff of smoke while he kept a straight face. "What do you need to tell?"

"Your best-friend's in rehab," he told her.

It was like he didn't say anything. Her expression didn't change the slightest as she blew out a smooth cloud of smoke.

"Demi's in _rehab_," he repeated.

"I heard you the first time," she told him, attitude laced through her voice. "What's your point? We all have our problems."

He stared at her, for the first time not able to believe the words he was hearing come out of her mouth.

"Don't be a bitch, Miley," he growled, trying his hardest to get her to show her feelings. If was possible she'd gotten even more stubborn.

"Nick, Demi's a big girl, alright? She can deal with it."

"Oh, just like you could deal with your problems, right?"

Her face turned hard and she took in another breath of smoke, blowing it out as if it were an answer. He stood up, knowing that he wouldn't be getting anywhere. Not tonight at least. Right now it looked like it had been pointless to even come here. **She wasn't opening up at all.**

**this is short, but i swear i already have another chapter waiting :))  
**


	5. Chapter 5

**_Chapter Five_**

_Joe._

**It was killing him. **Everyday he got another update, everyday his heart broke a little more... Everyday he had to convince himself more and more not to break-up with Ashley. It was getting harder, and a part of him knew it was inevitable just like he knew it was all his fault. Everything lately seemed to be his fault.

Demi would be home right now if it wasn't for him. She wouldn't have ever been provoked. They both know that he loved her more, but he was too scared of commitment to do anything about it. He was the funny guy. The guy who all through growing up learned to feel absolutely nothing. When he was around her he couldn't be that person. His feelings came out and he felt this thing in his stomach... He really liked things and felt terrible when he upset her. Sure, a few people tore on his heart when they were upset, but not like she did. She needed to have one little frown for him to come running.

Then there was Mliey. Miley, Miley, Miley. Her updates were killing him. She was his little sister, but right now it sounded like they needed some help with her. Nick was telling everyone to trust him, but precious little _Nick_ had to give up his pride for once and admit it. She wasn't the same little girl she was back in Tybee. Oh, Joe knew she was much more complicated than Nick could figure out, and Nick hated the fact that Joe always could.

"How are you dealing with Demi?" Ashley asked him.

"Fine, she got herself into it," he easily replied.

"And Miley?"

"Miley's been fucked up for months now," he kept the strong act, trying so hard not to break down at the lies he was saying, "we all saw her breakdown coming."

Ashley shook her head, but didn't press the words. Demi would press the words. "Whatever you say."

"Everyone thinks I should go check on her," he mumbled.

She nodded a little and Joe wished he knew her well enough to read what she was thinking. "Which one?"

"Both."

"You should," she agreed. "Especially Miley."

"Why?"

Ashley shrugged. "Demi's stronger than she is, you know? I mean, she's in a center for it and just handles it all better in general. But Miley pretends to be that tough invincible girl, and she's not, and everyone but her realizes that. Her pride means the world to her, and she doesn't ask for help, but we all know that she can't handle it all."

He'd never heard her so insightful before. He'd heard her talk about people, but never like that. Never caring that much.

"She didn't die, though. That must mean something. She obviously didn't try hard enough."

"She tried as hard as she could, baby," she whispered, going in to hug him. "We're just lucky someone found her that quickly."

"You really think she would've gone through with it?"

"I met her when she was seventeen, and you've told me all about how much she loves life and is always just genuinely happy, but to be honest, I've never seen here with either of those qualities. When I met her, those were both gone," she told him sadly. "She's not the same thirteen year old you remember meeting."

"I just can't picture her taking a knife and ruining her own life with it."

"I wish I couldn't," Ashley told him honestly, grabbing his hand.

Joe looked out the window, not understanding. This was his little sister. He thought that he knew her inside and out. So much had changed, and it was just killing him to watch it all fade away. First Miley, and now Demi… **It was killing him.**

_Miley.  
_**Miley scoffed at the words, trying to keep the strong layer.** She was hiding the pain by distancing herself and she knew it. But with Nick, that was the only way she knew how. Because they were so close before and while he didn't think he could he had that ability to notice when something was wrong, she knew he did. And she didn't want anyone to know. She could handle this on her own.

Her phone vibrated and she looked at the text message.

_Video chat? -Brandi_

_No thanks._

_We need to talkk. -Brandi_

_No time._

_Miley. Chat. Now. -Brandi_

She rolled her eyes, logging onto iChat only for Brandi to instantly request her. She sighed, accepting and looking bored. It was the first time she'd seen her sister in a few weeks, but it didn't take a genius to see that she was trying to act strong. See, that was the difference between the two sisters. One of them knew how to act strong. The other could only try.

"Hey."

Miley nodded, not wanting to talk. She was sick of talking. No one understood.

"How you been?"

"Oh, just dandy," Miley rolled her eyes sarcastically, grabbing a cigarette from her dresser. "I love sharing a house with Nick, you know?"

Her sister furrowed her eyebrows. "Is that a cigarette?"

"No, it's candy on fire."

"Funny," she spat sarcastically. "Does Nick know?"

"What doesn't Nick fucking Jonas know about?"

She leaned back in the chair she was sitting in, crossing her arms. "I bet he doesn't know the real reason why you're there."

"And what would the real reason be? I kinda thought it was punishment for trying to kill myself."

Brandi flinched, and Miley knew that her sister didn't understand. She didn't understand that Miley just didn't care anymore, because caring was what held her back the first time. If she would have cut a little deeper...

"The reason that pushed you over the edge was mom and dad," she spoke up. "Do any of your friends know about that?"

"I don't see why they need to," Miley retorted.

"Because, Miley, it's important," Brandi explained.

Once again the younger girl did her signature move, that famous eye roll.

"Look," she hissed, and Miley kept eye contact, her poker face not coming off, not showing any emotion. "Trace and I have been covering for you and so has Brazz, but we both know there's only so much time until mom says something that makes them all realize."

"So? I don't care if they know," Miley protested. Brandi took a deep breath, shaking her head, wishing Miley would understand. It was obvious that Miley wouldn't care if everyone else knew, she didn't care about anything these days. The point was that she had to finally accept it, and actually telling someone might be the first step. Especially telling Nick.

"Yeah, well, good. Because it won't be long until they all find out."

She knew more than anyone that Brandi was right, and she was lying. She was lying to herself, because once everyone found out she didn't know what she would do. She couldn't hide the truth if everyone knew. But she wasn't breaking down, and she didn't show emotion. **Miley scoffed at the words, trying to keep the strong layer.**

_Nick.  
_**He looked at the pictures, trying to find something that resembled the Miley he once knew. **Online the latest pictures of her... It was hopeless trying to see through her glassy eyes and party animal behavior. It was like the thirteen year old version of her had completely vanished... but it had to be there somewhere. It _had_ to.

His phone rang and he picked it up, seeing as it was Vanessa. She was calling him back from a voicemail he'd left hours ago, trying to find someone to distract him. He figured that for once he was in the mood to listen to her annoying stories about how perfect her and Zac were.

"Hey, Ness."

"Hey, Nick," she laughed on the other line. "What's up?"

"Nothing, just hanging around. You?"

"Got a few minutes off. So, rumor has it you're with the head bitch?"

He clenched his jaw, softly shutting his eyes, not even able to stand up for her anymore. Now, sometimes, even he went along with the nickname that'd been made up for her somewhere along the road. "Yeah."

"Lucky you," she scoffed sarcastically. "I'd rather kill myself."

There was a time that Miley and Vanessa used to be best-friends. They'd go everywhere together, talk about boys – at one point they were inseparable. He wondered often when Head Bitch started out for Miley, when she began to lose friends, but he never figured it out. He just looked back at the girl he was in love with one day and she wasn't there anymore. She vanished, because he wasn't paying attention for all those months. Because he could have sworn she was strong enough. He guessed she even fooled him with that silly strong act she was putting on. He'll never forgive himself for not paying more attention.

"I wouldn't go that far," he defended.

"Right, you're in love with the chick."

"I definitely wouldn't go _that_ far," he repeated. It was the first time that he couldn't honestly say those words. He wasn't in love with her anymore. Or at least not this version.

"I don't know what happened to her," Vanessa sighed. "But you know, I don't care anymore. She blew me off so many times and pretended that I didn't exist _so _many times to go out and fucking do drugs or whatever she thought was cool, that I don't care anymore. Does that make me a bad person? Not caring about someone who used to be my best friend?"

Nick wanted to say yes, but how could he? He'd be a hypocrite. "Sometimes even I find it hard to care anymore."

"You're a good person for even being there," Vanessa told him. He smiled a little, needing to hear that. He needed some praise for this because every day he was so close to giving up. "She needs someone, and after all the shit she's put you through, you're still there. The _only _one there."

"Thanks, Ness."

"Sure thing. Show her who's boss, kay?"

Nick laughed a little. "I'm a little scared of her right now."

"She's a scary person."

"She's smoking now, you know?"

"Shocker," she muttered on the other line. She didn't understand how love could be so blinding. Especially to someone as practical as Nick.

"Yeah, I guess I should have expected it."

Vanessa felt bad for him, the boy who was devastated about something he could never completely fix. Because it didn't matter what he said, or how many times he agreed that she was a bitch. He would always go back to her in a heartbeat. He would always love her.

"It's hard to suddenly have lost all faith in her," he sighed, putting his face in his hands. "I tried to believe in her mistake after mistake, but after awhile, they just can't be mistakes anymore."

"She's fucked up," Vanessa told him bluntly. She was honest. "But something made her change."

"She was trying to break out of her image."

"This wasn't to piss Disney off, that's bullshit," she spat out. "I don't know who she's trying to prove wrong or what she's trying to hide from, but whatever it is, it's not because of a mouse."

"I know," Nick looked at his computer, pulling up the pictures of him with a girl that had bright blue eyes that glimmered, even without light. Her hair glistened in the sunlight and her skin glowed simply from her happiness. "That's what scares me."

Even with light her blue eyes didn't glimmer anymore. Her hair didn't glisten. Her skin didn't glow. **He looked at the pictures, trying to find something that resembled the Miley he knew now. **


	6. Chapter 6

_Miley.  
_**She thought her act was working. **Her plan to pretend not to care and all, she was almost positive it was all working. But, apparently, she was wrong. Because the second he walked through the door, she felt like she was naked. She didn't feel as mysterious as she usually did, and she didn't like that feeling of someone figuring her out.

"Hey, you," Joe grinned. He always grinned, she thought. Always. "What's up?"

She glared at him for Demi's sake. If she was locked away she might as well hate him for her. Besides, hating people was always easier than actually liking them.

"What's going on with you?" he asked seriously.

"You broke her heart, Joe," she scoffed. "Sorry if I hate you for it."

"No, something else is wrong," he stepped closer and she stood up off the bed, looking the small distance up into his eyes, glaring, playing the act so well.

"No, there isn't."

"_Yes_, there is," he fought, glaring right back at her. He was the only person she'd ever met who would never back down to her. Nick, even he backed down sometimes, but Joe never quit. That's probably why he knew her so much better than everyone else. "You don't take sides, Cyrus, and you may have everyone else fooled, but you don't fool me for a second."

"Whatever," she spat, turning back.

He grabbed her arm, spinning her around. "What's going on?"

"_Nothing_," she fought.

"Tell me."

"Make me."

"You think I can't?"

She crossed her arms, waiting for the next line. The line that would supposedly make her spill everything.

"I've known you for years, Miles. Give up the bitch act, 'cause I'm not leaving until I figure out what the hell is up with you."

"You could be here for awhile," she went to her bed, leaning against the wall and grabbing her computer.

"I have no plans."

"Yeah, well, I have no heart. I don't care if you rot waiting for an answer."

"You don't care? Do you honestly believe that?"

"I know that with every bone in my body."

He sat beside her, smirking. "I don't give up."

"I remember. But I've changed since two years ago. And I don't give up either now."

"Miley Ray Cyrus-"

"The full name, _cute_."

He pursed his lips, whipping the laptop off her lap. "Damn it, tell me what's wrong, or God so help me I will personally drag you back to LA and live with you until I find out."

"I could destroy that plan in a second."

"I could destroy every secret you have in a second," he shot back.

"Name one."

"Your parents."

She froze, looking up at him. She should know that Joe always got to her. She should have locked him out the moment he came knocking. "How do you know about that?"

"The real question is, why doesn't anyone else know?"

"Joe, how do you know?" she growled.

He smirked. "Unlike everyone else, I do my research. I hired a guy. He obviously did the right job."

"You're unbelievable."

His eyes changed a little. "No, I'm worried. You're scaring everyone."

"Too bad, they obviously didn't care before I attempted, why now?"

"No," he hissed. "No, you can't do that, you can't turn it on everyone else." He stood up, his hands curled in fists before he spun around. "Damn it, Miley, you can't do that! _Everyone_ cares about you! Every. Damn. Fucking. Person. My brother? He's been hung up on you for five years now. You can't blame them for not caring just because _you _don't let anyone in."

"I let you in. And I recall letting Nick in at one time too," she calmly replied, not losing her cool yet. "Yet they all screw me over."

"Yeah, and Demi? Demi and Zac and Mandy and Leslie and _Liam_," he named off. "I'm sorry, sis, but this isn't anyone else's fault. And you better realize that soon."

"Or what?"

"Or you'll lose everything!" he screamed at her. "What? You think just because you're Miley everyone will bow down to you? No, no one will bow down to you if you keep acting like such a _bitch_."

"Oh, God, not this again."

"You're already losing everyone. And you even know that. And somewhere behind whatever _this_ is, whatever you're trying so hard to pull off, it's killing you. So you might as well fix it now before everyone loses faith in you for good."

"Nice speech," she rolled her eyes, but Joe wasn't done quite yet.

"Secrets only get you so far in this town."

"Are you done?" she rolled her eyes, getting sick of this. She hated talking to Joe, hated it more than anything.

"Yeah, I am," he walked out the door. "Let me know when I have my little sister back."

"This isn't an act, Joe," she called after him.

"It isn't you either!" he yelled back.

She sat down defeated. This wasn't her either... This wasn't her. And just when **she thought her act was working.**

_Nick.  
_**It didn't matter that she didn't want to let anyone in, because she had. **And that night at dinner he saw that. Whoever she'd spoken to recently that made this spark, he was glad they got through. Even if he did wish it could have been him. She actually came down without being asked for dinner, setting glasses on the table and filling everyone's up. My mom raised an eyebrow at me, but I just shrugged, putting my forefinger on my lips to keep her quiet.

She sat there through dinner, too. Not getting up early, not picking a fight with one of us, and not purposely doing something like cracking her knuckles just because she knew it annoyed me. She didn't help pick up after, but, hey, it was a start.

What he thought was the best part was when she came into his room after. She came in to talk to _him_. And he felt so amazing that she even could treat someone like a human after all that time.

"I'm gonna ask you something," she told him. "And before you say anything, I want you to think about it, okay?"

"Oh, God. No."

He knew he'd say yes, though. Anything, because she was making progress, and he didn't want to lose it.

"Take me clubbing?"

He could have almost choked. Did those words really come out of her mouth? He wasn't a club type of guy. He'd do anything except that.

"No way in Hell."

"Please? Hear me out."

"No. Besides, how would we even get there? My mom would never let us go."

Miley rolled her eyes. His intelligence was questionable. "We would sneak out."

"Oh, and the plan gets better," he muttered. "Not doin' it."

"C'mon! Don't you ever wonder what it's like to live on the dark side?"

"No," he shrugged her off. "Miley, it won't happen."

And he doesn't know how she talked him into it, or what words were so good that he decided it'd be fine to take her, but she somehow did. An hour later they were out on the dance floor dancing with people they didn't know… Or she was out on a dance floor. He was sitting back watching, eying the alcohol until he couldn't anymore.

"Hit me."

"You twenty-one, kid?" the bartender asked.

He wasn't in the mood, and used the same bribe Miley used to get in here. She pulled a green bill out of her pocket and that was that. Easy access. He repeated what he saw. "I'll give you a good tip, just hit me."

"What do ya want?" he asked.

Nick shrugged. He didn't have the slightest idea on what to order when it came to liquor. "Surprise me."

The guy shrugged, mixing drinks until he handed one over. "Try it."

Nick nodded, picking it up and chugging it down within seconds. "It was good. Let's have another."

He shrugged again. He was getting money, if the kid wanted some more he'd give it. His clothes flaunted the fact that he wasn't exactly poor. He handed the drink over, filling it up again when it ran out. Then again. Then again.

"See that girl over there?" Nick pointed to Miley as another drink was getting prepared. "I'm in love with her."

"She know you're drinking?"

"She won't care. She doesn't care about anything," he took a gulp of the drink he still didn't know the name of. "Not even that I love her. Not even even her family."

"So why do you love her?"

"Because it's Miley," he said, as if that was enough. "It's Miley."

"Nick!" she called out. "C'mon, dance, have fun!"

She walked over, smiling for the first time in months. For the first time she looked… happy. It was crazy to think it was something foreign to describe her as.

"You didn't sneak out for nothing, c'mon," she took his hand.

"No, I'm good. We're talking," he murmured, giving a delayed gesture to the man behind him.

"What?" she froze. This couldn't be happening. "Have you been drinking?"

"Just a little."

"Shit," she cursed, looking to the man in the background. "How many has he had?"

Now the guy behind the drinks knew who he was talking to. He was well aware of who Miley Cyrus was. Miley Cyrus could ruin him.

"Fourteen. He's been sitting here the past forty-five minutes drinking nonstop."

"How could you not ask for an ID?"

"I figured he couldn't get in if he was under eighteen," he lied, pointing out the fact that he couldn't be in trouble for this. How was he supposed to know th boy was under age?

Miley shook her head, ready to lose it, going into hysterics. "Nick, no! How could you?"

"He said you wouldn't care," he informed her. "That you do it all the time."

"Nick," she put a hand to head, not believing this was happening. It was her worst nightmare coming true. Not Nick. Anyone could come and get drunk but Nick, not _her_ Nick.

He picked up the glass again. "Fill me up."

"No! No, Nick. No! Please, stop. C'mon, let's go home," she begged, tears suddenly filling her eyes. He knew, drunk or not, he would've dropped whatever he was doing for those eyes.

"Okay, if you really want to. But first try this, I swear it'll make you feel good," he dragged out, slurring.

"No," she whimpered. "God, I should have never taken you here."

"I can see why you come here," he admitted the things he knew he wouldn't soberly admit. "It's a good place to forget the world. You looked hot out there."

Stepping out of the club into the frisk fresh air a tear fell down her face. He couldn't be drunk, he just couldn't. After all these years Nick was always... _Nick_. He was the good kid, the one in control. He wasn't supposed to try alcohol, he wasn't supposed to do that. That's how Miley got started, and look how she ended up.

She took him home, sneaking him into his bedroom, changing his clothes for him seeing he was too incapable to do it himself. Her make-up was smeared by now from the waterfalls caressing her cheeks, and she as she laid him down she couldn't believe she was even put into that position.

Walking out of the room, she saw Denise and closed her eyes, knowing they'd been caught. She let a tear fall down – a real one this time, not just because she was in trouble – and shook her head. "I'm so sorry."

She nodded, unsure of what happened, but knowing by seeing Miley so upset over it that it was for the best. Because she was actually feeling something again, and that was better than nothing. Even if her face looked horrible, even if she was coming out of her son's room at two in the morning, right now she had to believe that it was all going to be okay.

"Get some rest, Sweetheart."

But she didn't know if she could. And the next morning, when Nick did wake up, she was sitting beside his bed, coffee on the nightstand. The first thing she did was slap him.

"You fucking idiot."

"Ow," he held his cheek with one hand, forehead on the other. This headache was killer. "What the hell was that for?"

"Last night, fucktard," she spat before offering the coffee. Her previous mood of not knowing what to feel, the vulnerability, had changed into pure anger. Anger at him. "Here, drink this."

He tried to focus on what happened the night before but couldn't remember. Why couldn't he remember? "What happened last night?"

"You got fucking drunk."

"And?"

She looked at him in disbelief. "And? _And_? There doesn't have to be an And, that's fucking bad enough, you piece of shit."

"Why are you freaking out so much?" he asked, holding his pounding head. The world was spinning. How many beers did he take? "It's just beer."

"Because, Nick. It's not just beer," she explained. "That's how I got started."

He nodded. "See? And you turned out just fine. No big deal."

She shook her head, seething, roaring with anger. No. He was wrong. And if he thought for a second she'd let him get even close to being this fucked up he was wrong. He needed to stay normal. For her, he needed to stay normal.

"No big deal, huh?" she quickly unwrapped the bandages, showing the scars to someone other than herself for the first time. She faced her wrists to him. "You tell me that's no big deal. And it wasn't an accident-"

"Mi, I-"

"This was on purpose because I felt so fucked up, and so fucked over by the God damn world, that I wanted to fucking die. And you know how it all started?" She shoved him as hard as she could. No Big Deal her ass. "You know how it all fucking started, huh? By that one drink."

"I won't-"

"No, you wanted to know the whole story, I'll tell you. First, I fucking started drinking. Then, me and Anna started to hang out. She liked me more than Demi as soon as I invited her out clubbing, go figure. She offered the first drugs. I said no at first, but I kept getting drunk, and that one time wasn't fucking once anymore. Before I knew it I was partying every night."

"Miley-"

Tears were in her eyes, but she refused to stop. No, she wouldn't stop now. "Then, it became a game. Who could drink more? Who could drive straightest? And you know what I swore to myself? The minute that anyone other than Demi asked if I was okay I'd stop. That's all it would have taken. And then my parents got divorced and oh, it all went even more downhill from there. Noah blamed me, Braison isolated himself, Trace doesn't care, and Brandi is trying to hold it all together. No one even _noticed_ that I wasn't there every night. No one saw the changes, and you wanna know why?"

After awhile of silence he looked up, meeting eyes with her, his expression dead. It was killing him to hear this, and she knew it. That was the point. "Why?"

"Because no one _cared_. I planned that day, okay? I planned the exact day I'd kill myself, this wasn't a spur of the moment thing. Because I was Miley fucking Cyrus. I _am_ Miley fucking Cyrus. And I hated it, I _do _hate it. And the only difference between now and before I tried to kill myself is that I know now that all you selfish bastards only care if you think I might be gone the next day," she ranted. "Otherwise no one even notices."

"I care," he spoke up.

"Excuse me?" she hissed.

"I care," he repeated. "I-Mi, I don't care who you think doesn't care, but I need to know that I'll always care. I have always cared. I'll _always _care."

"Don't fucking say that," she spat. "Don't you dare think you're better than anyone, because you're not. With you it's different. With you it's worse. Because I _know _you noticed before anything happened. You're the only one who I know just didn't care enough to come up and ask me if everything was okay."

He looked down. He had no excuse this time. She was right.

"If you would have just asked if everything was okay once…"

"Miley, I'm sorry," he spoke slowly, "but this isn't my fault. You can't blame this on me."

"Whatever," she scoffed at him. She wasn't blaming this on anyone, but that was the truth. One word from anyone and she would have stopped. One word from him, and she would've stopped in a heartbeat. She shook her head, turning around. "Just fuck off the alcohol. Trust me, it's fun the first time, but it's not fun being me."

He watched her walk out before he realized what she was doing. "Miley, wait."

"What?" she spun to face him. "I've said all I need to say."

"Are you okay?"

"See, now you fucking care," she pointed out. "Now that you don't know how stable I am, you care."

"I'm sorry."

"Good, you should be," she told him, crossing her arms. "Now can I go?"

"Your parents got divorced?" he stopped her, watching carefully as she froze, not turning around. "What? You think I'd miss that part?"

"Look, don't worry about it."

"When?"

"A few months ago. October, August, November, who knows? They're all such a blur anyways."

He studied her carefully, trying to figure her out the way he used to.

"How come you didn't tell any of us about this before?"

"Because it was irrelevant. How come you didn't care before?"

Nick kept quiet, he didn't have an answer that could ever please her. Only the answers she expected.

"So, that's what pushed you over the edge, huh? Your family started becoming-"

"Stop," she ordered.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to hear your guesses," she spat. "I don't need your guesses, or you to even figure me out. Just, stop trying to figure me out."

And in that split second, before he could even reply, she was out the door and back in her own room, crying behind that closed door in the middle of the room, her knees giving out before she even reached her bed. She kneeled there, trying to control herself as she silently sobbed.

**It didn't matter that she didn't want to let anyone in, because she had.**


	7. Chapter 7

_Miley._

**She only wanted him to care about her for once. Was that too much to ask?** She knew that it probably wasn't a fair request now considering he had always cared before, but right now, she just wanted him to come in here and put her in place. She wanted him to love her again and be there to protect her. She'd always had someone like that in her life, even if it was just Nick. She'd taken him for granted without even knowing it. She wanted the company she'd unknowingly had beside her all along.

But of course she was fucking alone now. She scowled. She was practically trapped here. She still couldn't believe what exactly happened last night. She sighed, finally getting up and putting her laptop aside. She needed a cigarette. She opened the drawer, reaching in before she glared, feeling a thin piece of paper. She felt a scream rise in her throat at the scribbled handwriting but held it in. This wasn't fair.

_If you're reading this, it means you tried to smoke. You really should stop. Your voice is too pretty for that._

Ignoring the compliment she was infuriated. He stole her cigarettes. He seriously had the nerve to steal her cigarettes. She growled, going to her drawer and getting out a fifty dollar bill. Well then, she'd just have to fix that, wouldn't she?

She put on her best smile, taking a deep breath and walking down stairs, that innocence laced in her voice as she tried her best to bring out the thirteen year old again. Or at least put her acting skills to the test.

"Hey," she said bubbly once she saw Denise. "Do you think I could possibly borrow the car?"

"Fort?" she rose her eyebrow at the teenager who she'd known for much too long. The one who had changed before her very eyes, yet she'd never even noticed.

"I need a few things."

Mrs. Jonas just smiled. This girl in front of her was being too naïve. Denise was practically her second mother. She could read her like a book, and knew that Miley didn't need anything except what she wanted to hide getting.

"What is it? I'm sure we have them."

"Oh, just hygiene stuff."

"I have some, don't worry about it."

"No, I mean… _lady products,"_ she rephrased it. She would be getting out of this house. She was determined.

"Oh, I have a ton of extras, they're in my bathroom-"

"I'm picky. I need a certain brand," she interrupted hostilely.

Denise crossed her arms, leaning back. "Yeah? What kind do you need?"

Miley froze before recovering. "I don't know the name, just what they look like."

"I'm not letting you leave," she laughed a little, getting up.

"Please?" she begged. "I'll do anything, just this once."

"No, Miley," she repeated sternly.

"But Denise-"

"It's Mrs. Jonas," she corrected. Miley paused, not sure what to say but positive that that comment was so much worse than a slap in the face. Were they really going there? Was Miley really that bad?

But even she knew the answer to that.

"Mrs. Jonas," she regained her confidence. "Please, I need to get this-"

"No."

"Don't you trust me?"

"Not anymore," she finalized the answer, walking away. Miley wanted to scream but instead she stormed upstairs, slamming Nick's door open.

"Just give me the fucking cigarettes," she rolled her eyes, holding out her unmanicured hand expectantly. This was the shittiest place she'd ever lived in and her cigarettes were the only thing that made it somewhat doable.

"Hello to you too," he muttered, looking up from his laptop before turning back to the screen. "Hey, I gotta go, okay?"

"Okay," a voice that Miley knew too well answered from the computer and without even noticing it anger suddenly consumed her. Her cheeks flared, eyes darkened, Nick was afraid to look at her... Not everything had changed in the past few years. They were still three people who would never all get along. "I'll talk to you soon. Tell Miley I said hi."

"Will do-"

"Hi, Selena," she called out, rolling her ice blue eyes in the process.

"Bye," Nick quickly ended their Skype call and she smiled at him. He obviously didn't trust her to say anything around Selena. And that was good. He shouldn't. Because any words directed at _Selena_ would not be Nick approved.

"Still talking to her, huh?"

"She never left when you were in the hospital," he reminded as if that was supposed to prove some sort of point. It really didn't, though. That didn't change the past.

"Oh, is that supposed to make up for the past three years?" Miley asked expectantly. "Bet you didn't tell her about Tybee, did you?"

He looked down. He didn't, but somehow it felt as if something had shifted in their friendship. It had already been hard to stay friends with her after the breakup but now… Selena looked at him as if he was a monster. And to her, he probably was. When he was bored he came from no where, held on to Selena, then suffocated her with how much he would always love another girl more.

"Of course you didn't," she rolled her eyes. "Whatever. Gomez can go fuck herself for all I care. In fact, why don't you join her and let me go from this hellhole?" she laughed at her own joke. "Just give me what's rightfully mine."

"No."

"Look," she took a step closer and he stood up. He was sure she'd never do anything to him, but he really didn't like the disadvantage of sitting down. "I need a cigarette, right? You won't give me one because you're an asshole, you're mom's a bitch and won't let me use the car-"

He was to her in a flash, pinning her against the wall and she winced. She looked at him with bored, lifeless eyes, but inside she was terrified. It felt great, feeling something other than depression hadn't she pissed him off before?

"You think your life is hell now?" his words were so hissed that beads of spit landed on her lip. She smirked. "Insult any one of my family members one more time, and I swear to God I will make your life so absolutely horrible that you'll wish you never met me."

"Trust me," she pulled himself out of his grip, glaring. "You've already done that multiple times." She shook her head, walking out of the room. "Fine! Keep 'em. I don't care."

But inside she was crying. He did care. He cared about everyone. Everyone but her. Selena, his family, _her _family_…_

**She only wanted him to care about her for once. Was that too much to ask?**

_Nick.  
_**She wasn't going to distance herself this time. **He couldn't let her, not after what had happened the last time, because whether she thought so or not, one thing remained constant over the past few years: he loved her more than he had ever loved anything in his life.

She was halfway out the door when he realized there was still so much to talk about. He went after her, grabbing her wrist and pulling her back inside the room before he softly shut the door.

He watched her roll her eyes. "Just let me go. I'm done here."

"No you're not," he told her. "We aren't done talking. Or are we just gonna pretend this morning never happened?"

"Nothing did happen this morning," she stressed. "Nothing important anyways."

"Yes-"

"Would you just stop?" she snapped. "I don't want to talk to you, okay?"

He sighed, walking over to his bed and shuffling around before turning around with a box in his hand. "Answer my questions, I give you these back."

She shook her head, starting to the doors. "I don't need them that badly."

"I know you don't."

She suddenly whipped around, venom coming out of her eyes. "Stop doing that!"

He tilted his head and Miley crossed the room so they were face to face again. He wanted to smile at the fact that he just reeled her back in without even trying to.

"You don't believe in me, so why are you trying?"

"Are you _kidding_ me?" his eyes went wide. "I'm probably the only one who does actually believe in you."

"The walls aren't that thick," she spoke softly and he stared, wanting to pull her close. She'd heard too many words that he didn't mean, then. Phone calls with people that he was too embarrassed to say how he really felt, how he'd never completely give up on her. "That, and I have sources. I know what you say."

"What are you, a super spy?"

"No, even worse. _I'm _Miley Cyrus," she smirked. "And you're just you. Little, quiet, insecure Nick Jonas. Don't you get it? I have authority, I hear your half of phone calls, people tell me everything… I know what you say about me behind my back." His heart pounded but he wouldn't let it show. "I know you tell people you don't love me anymore and I know you don't trust me. I know you don't have the slightest ounce in you believing that I have any good left in me."

"I do believe in you," he fought. "You have to know that!"

"Oh, sorry, I must not have gotten that message out of the words 'I gave up on her a long time ago' or whatever other things you've been saying," she rolled her eyes. "You go on and on about how much you hate Hollywood, but you're the definition of it. Don't you see that?"

He thought about. No he wasn't. That couldn't be true, he wasn't a hypocrite.

"You act innocent to someone's face only to turn around and stab them as hard as you can in the back. You act quiet, but really you're just listening for new gossip," she shook her head. "You're no better than anyone else. In fact, you're just like everyone else in the business now. You aren't special anymore."

"Well what did you want me to do, Miley?" he suddenly turned on her. "You want me to wait for you forever? I waited weeks for you to come back, but you never did! Tybee was my worst nightmare, and I prayed and prayed that you'd come back but you just... You didn't! So, yeah, I might say I've stopped believing in you sometimes, but c'mon. You're brilliant, we both know that's not the truth."

"I don't," she fought back. "How would I know that?"

"Because you know me!"

"Not anymore!"

He stopped, freezing and looking at her as she stared at him, her lips pursed into a thin line as she held back tears. His chocolate eyes met hers and instantly fell. He sighed, putting his hands on his temples.

"I don't know anything anymore," she continued, utterly broken, utterly torn. "I can barely figure myself out never mind you."

He sat on his bed quietly but she didn't go with him. Even that didn't feel right.

"Because of your parents?"

She suddenly stood deathly still before relaxing, nodding a little. It was time to let go. "I guess so."

"Life goes on," he reminded her. "There's always gonna be a light."

"It's all my fault, though," she whispered feebly, and Nick instantly snapped his head over to her and not only because the old Miley was coming out again and she was vulnerable. Who the hell was telling her this bullshit?

"Mile-"

"Don't you _dare_ 'Miley' me, Nicholas," she hissed, turning back into the person he now know. The person he was beginning to become convinced that she was.

He nodded, holding it back. "Who told you that? Because they were-"

"Wrong? Lying? Yeah, except there's one minor problem with that theory," she crossed her arms, meeting his gaze directly. "It was my dad that told me that."

Nick's eyes instantly fell, but Miley did a great job at keeping her face emotionless. If it wasn't for the scars up her arms even he would believe that she didn't care. "He was angry," he tried to make up a reasonable excuse. Despite how hard he tried to make the excuse, the truth was still there. There wasn't a good enough excuse in the world for him to say that.

"He was honest," she fought. "If he was fucking angry he would have called back by now."

Nick sighed, slowly fitting the pieces together. This wasn't because of the fame, or friends, or feuds, but because of her family. It fell apart right before her eyes, and just because of her fame, Miley was stuck in the middle of it. All because she was famous and that was a good enough reason to tear them apart, Miley was blamed. Nick would love to give her dad an earful of how their _daughter_ doesn't tear a family apart.

"It takes a lot to tear apart a marriage."

"Yeah, and it takes fame. A _lot_ of fame. And who brought that fame? I did. Who kept it? I did. Who didn't even notice the fights? I did."

"Come here," he directed.

And for once, she did something completely unspeakable. She listened to him, her bottom lip trembling as she walked up and sat next to him. He wrapped his arms around her and she wrapped them back.

"I don't mean to screw everything up it just happens," she whimpered. She felt tears coming and dug further into his chest and he sighed, moving them up to the head of his bed as he leaned back on the pillows, Miley leaning further into him.

"You're perfect the way you are," he promised. But that was a lie, she knew it was, even he didn't think that anymore. "You're Miley fucking Cyrus."

"I _hate_ Miley Cyrus," she growled. "She's a monster."

"I could make a list about you, you know that, right? About how you changed the world, how you made it better?"

She scoffed. That was a joke.

"I'm serious," he protested.

"You're stupid."

He sighed at the way she pushed him away again before starting to rub small circles on her arms knowing that at one point in time it would have calmed her down. Maybe it still worked.

"Okay, you want my complete honest opinion?"

"Yeah, that would be nice," she muttered dryly.

He laughed a little and looked down at her, that same admiration in his eyes that was there five years ago.

"We both know you've made a lot of mistakes lately-"

"That's an understatement-"

"_But_ right now, in this house, is basically your time to make a choice. You can open up or keep living the way you are," he offered her. "I'm not trying to destroy your life by taking things away from you. I'm trying to help you."

"I think you're the only one right now," she sighed. "And, I do want your help, it's just so hard right now… Everything's broken."

"You're not," he threw the answer out before digging the cigarettes back out of his pockets. "Now if you really need them, you can have them."

"Why do have to say it like that?" she whined. "I do need them."

"Why do you sound so unsure of it?" he laughed a little.

She took a deep breath, holding them in her hands before handing them back to the boy who she pretended not to love. "You keep them. I want to try."

And he wouldn't make her say it because he knew exactly what she meant. She wanted to be who she used to be again, before all this, and that would probably never happen, but the happiness might. It would if he was willing to watch her cry while she begged a few more times, it might be possible.

He leaned forward, kissing her forehead. "I'm proud of you."

"Yeah?"

"You're gonna be okay."

She snuggled into him and he smiled, holding her in place.

She looked up. "Is this okay?"

He loved this position, he'd missed it more than anything, holding her in a way so that they just fit.

"Perfect."

She grinned, closing her eyes a little and wrapping both arms around Nick like he was the teddy bear.

"I don't say it enough," she murmured sleepily, "but thank you."

"For what?"

"You still care." Her words were getting more slurred and he knew that she wouldn't be up for more than thirty seconds now. It was pointless to mention how everyone cares. Instead he stroked through her hair again, his breath tickling her ear as he laughed.

"I'll always care."

She smiled, relaxing as she inhaled the familiar scent of his perfume. Without knowing it she intertwined their hands, and while he knew what was going on he simply smiled at her, letting her do whatever she pleased. If she wanted to love him he wouldn't protest. She pressed further into him, trying to get as close together as possible before her eyes slowly drifted, her last sight being Nick's curls, eyes, and the last feeling being his warm toned muscles against her cheek.

**She wasn't going to push herself away again.**


End file.
